Some thoughts

A friend called and said another friend had been warded into ICU and perhaps we want to pay our last visit, in case she goes home with the Lord as her situation does not look positive. In normal circumstance, I would rush down immediately to visit but this time, I hesitated. As I am going to deliver next week, I am not too sure if I can cope with seeing this friend in her current state of health cos I heard that she had lost alot of weight and the sight of her might affect me emotionally.

I must admit that I had been quite emotional during this last stage of pregnancy and with recent ZQ getting chicken pox, imagining the possible risk to baby should he get chicken pox. My recent "minor" car accident where a taxi bang into my colleague's car and I had a rude shock out of it. Worst, I realised how "unprofessional" my gynae was (he was on holiday and when i called him upon advise by his nurse, first words he said "I'm on holiday, can you call my nurse" .... but it was the nurse who told me to call him) .... anyway, that's another story and bottomline : I changed gynae at this last stage of my pregnancy and getting the new gynae to deliver me.

Other things aside, I still have not decided if I'd visit her .... I don't know what to say ... will I start crying? Seems that she had lost alot of weight and she is skinny to start with. Sometimes just thinking of things would make me cry and even movies too ... I don't know.

Sometimes I'd tell my hubby that if anything happens to me during my childbirth, I had already made all the preparations for the family. People say why say such things cos we tend to believe that we'd live to hundred and one .... but we never know when the time comes for us to go. It's better to make the preparations so that the family is ready (not for the loss) but other aspects. This will help to reduce their stress of having to cope with the pain of the loss of a loved one and to handle so many other admin issues. It's called planning.

Planning is good but things will go out of hand too as it's never as planned. I planned so much to prepare ZQ for the arrival for #2 and things seems to go well - who'd know that he caught chicken pox? I wonder, of all times, why now? Now he's gonna miss the arrival of his didi and by the time he comes back, how'd he react with having to share mommy's love and time with another little baby? I planned for him to say "Welcome baby" to his brother, to make balloons for him, to buy a little cake for him .... but now? it has to all delay. Nonetheless, most importantly is the good health of the baby.

Life changes so fast, we have to be quick to adapt, to make decisions to change quickly to cope with the situations. Sometimes it's tiring - what's the best decision? which is the best option? Can we take the best option? sometimes not due to circumstance we're in.

So much for my rattling .... gotta start thinking about +ve things .... baby's gonna be out soon and yes, there are lots of reading up and planning to do ... breastfeeding, handling baby, growth of baby, etc, etc. Being a mother is a 24 hour job! Cheers to all mothers.